spinning
There, looking at those frozen eyes I could feel all that spoiled and dead energy inside that cold body.
If I could only touch it... I think I could even get that lost mind inside me... those dead ideas to live again... that breath out of the gelid life of it, already swallowed by now, into those deep dark eyes...
There was only me and that, only me and the thing I was facing..whatever it was... whatever feelings it had on me... whatever feelings I had on it... but there ... only the two of us together, facing the fears, facing the doubts...all alone... all dead... all alive... in a state of mind that would be undescriptible to all prophans of normal mind... to all normal people who would get one of those stickers on our foreheads... weird... uncomprehensible... doubtful... dead...
Dead but with more power and life inside than I could have ever felt before... more warmth and tenderness in what used to be ideas floating still in the air... my memories... the things we shared... and all I wanted to do was just hug it... feel that last breath crawling against my face... that dark now wind that once used to keep me alive... that used to make me be able to reach and touch.... to feel... to live... to think...
all the doubts now would only lead to one thing... to the eternal circle of loneliness, perhaps leading to a wider sense of humanity... of a wider choice of ways to follow...if I ever did follow any of them...
Would this be different...? Would it be a new way...? a new life... what.. and what if.. and what if then... and ...
All those questions I could see just staring at those frozen black eyes... those two little black things that were sharp as the edge of my confussion... sharp as the night... sharp as that bleeding kiss I had dreamt the night before... and the day before... and the year before...
Nothing was left to say... nothing was left to think, for what I had now was only the memories of it all.
The chasing thought of what could and couldn't have been done... the lost chances and the not taken ones.. the risks I didn't take and the ones i did..
All that in front of me.. all that beside me..around... behind.... twisting in a circle like a spiral wind that was covering all my body... all that body.. all that spirit...
Taking a deep breath and sighing for what I used to be.. facing with firm look what I was just about to discover... a new life... or a new death... a new state of changing ... the non-breakable circle that once started spinning and never ended... for what I had right in front of my astonished eyes .... was my dead body.
If I could only touch it... I think I could even get that lost mind inside me... those dead ideas to live again... that breath out of the gelid life of it, already swallowed by now, into those deep dark eyes...
There was only me and that, only me and the thing I was facing..whatever it was... whatever feelings it had on me... whatever feelings I had on it... but there ... only the two of us together, facing the fears, facing the doubts...all alone... all dead... all alive... in a state of mind that would be undescriptible to all prophans of normal mind... to all normal people who would get one of those stickers on our foreheads... weird... uncomprehensible... doubtful... dead...
Dead but with more power and life inside than I could have ever felt before... more warmth and tenderness in what used to be ideas floating still in the air... my memories... the things we shared... and all I wanted to do was just hug it... feel that last breath crawling against my face... that dark now wind that once used to keep me alive... that used to make me be able to reach and touch.... to feel... to live... to think...
all the doubts now would only lead to one thing... to the eternal circle of loneliness, perhaps leading to a wider sense of humanity... of a wider choice of ways to follow...if I ever did follow any of them...
Would this be different...? Would it be a new way...? a new life... what.. and what if.. and what if then... and ...
All those questions I could see just staring at those frozen black eyes... those two little black things that were sharp as the edge of my confussion... sharp as the night... sharp as that bleeding kiss I had dreamt the night before... and the day before... and the year before...
Nothing was left to say... nothing was left to think, for what I had now was only the memories of it all.
The chasing thought of what could and couldn't have been done... the lost chances and the not taken ones.. the risks I didn't take and the ones i did..
All that in front of me.. all that beside me..around... behind.... twisting in a circle like a spiral wind that was covering all my body... all that body.. all that spirit...
Taking a deep breath and sighing for what I used to be.. facing with firm look what I was just about to discover... a new life... or a new death... a new state of changing ... the non-breakable circle that once started spinning and never ended... for what I had right in front of my astonished eyes .... was my dead body.
6 comentarios
Bramer -
odio las mañanas frias y los sábados de supermercados...
Precioso capuchina....
ex -
Keep growing. DIY.
Rojo Dos -
He tenido que leerlo un par de veces para estar seguro de lo que leía.
Ahora tiemblo.
Cómo me gustaría poder escribir así.
Toñero -
MedioLoca -
parapo -